December 20^th (and one more thing)

Just wanted to give myself credit for channelling my energy in a positive way while waiting for the dr.  I kind of do a freak out once I am in the examining room and can’t sit still.  Decided to do a mini leg squat work out while waiting for the dr.  Might be sore tomorrow but a proud sore!  Yes, Cancer Care employees – I am proud to be that crazy patient in clinic #3.  (got just a few stares) 

Once a work out nut; always a workout nut.  Need to get my legs stronger so I will be ready to run when my feet give the ok. 

Do as much as you can for as long as you can when you can.  

 December 20^th Update

I want to quickly give an update on my dr. appt this afternoon.  We have been blessed with more good news and some that is a bit unclear/speculative.  But, that is the nature of stage 4 breast cancer.

My platelets have remained low but my oncologist is ok for another chemotherapy to start in a week. (this will be the 12^th cycle)   All of my liver enzymes have improved or remained the same.  Both my tumor markers have decreased.  Oncologist is continuing  the process of referring me for a newish drug on the market to be combined with an anti hormonal.  We are not in a hurry as the current therapy is working ‘beautifully’.   These were the actual words of my oncologist.  We just want to have all options available and basically have our ducks in line so to speak. 

Oncologist is writing up a letter for me that is ok to travel as we are heading to Ixtapa for 2 weeks.  (and ok for me to have chemotherapy drugs in my carry on)  My insurer is also on board with me travelling and is actually encouraging me and giving me travel tips.  I am so grateful to have a medical team and insurer that are encouraging quality of life and do not want me or expect me to be bedridden 24/7. 

The results of my MRI are a bit vague.   This MRI report was done by a different radiologist and my oncologist wants to contact the original radiologist to figure out what a few of the comments mean.  My oncologist doesn’t think it is anything to worry about as I am clinically doing very well.  Advised he will call if any concern.  He believes that some of the images are regenerative nodules in my liver which is a very good thing and not new tumors.  MRI notes are not clear and we may need to wait until spring to really know for sure what is going on.  The original 6 tumors seem to be history.  My spleen is still enlarged and has increased slightly in size and  I still have portal hypertension in the vessels.  We got a copy of the MRI report and just reading some of it now and much of it I do not understand.  Trying hard to believe that everything is well without really knowing for sure.  A lot of this disease is speculative so all we can do is believe the best if we do not know if what is speculative is for sure bad.  Have to believe all is ok or I will only be living a nightmare twice.  The oncologist advised that it does not make sense for the disease to be progressing at this time with the tumor markers decreasing, liver enzymes to be stable/decreasing and for me to be feeling well.  I am doing my best to believe him asking God for emotional strength and increased faith.

Living each day to the fullest and never taking a second of life on earth for granted.  Believing that God has a pathway for me and is right beside me.  With God all things are possible.  Although days like today are long and draining,  we have as many answers as possible and God has been providing us wisdom and guidance all along.  We are so grateful to all those who have helped us through this storm and continue to help and guide us. 

We are most grateful for Jesus and to celebrate his birth. 

May the peace of God be with you always.  Merry Christmas! 

Much Love,

Bev

November 24^th Blog Entry

I continue to be blessed with healing!  About every 4 weeks I am now getting blood work done and an MRI every 3 months.  Going for these appointments tends to bring up the standard worries and fright.  I struggle and continue to strive to give my worries to God.  I believe that God does listen to every single one of our prayers.  I do believe that we also need to pray for wisdom, guidance and understanding.  So, even though I strongly believe in the power of prayer; I also believe in being active in my bodies healing.  I hope this makes sense.  Ie – we can pray for something such as help with our financial struggles but we have to show up for the job, do the work etc.  I continue to pray for the guidance and wisdom of my medical team, I nourish my body with healthy food and my mind and soul with the power of God and the support of loving people around me.  When given options for treatments, I take a step back; pray on it and ask my power people for second, and third opinions. 

I have changed throughout this storm and my interests and priorities have altered.  I continue to try to be a better person every day and I know every day I fall short.  Forever, I will keep trying and press on.  There always seems to be those moments every day that you think you could have said or done more.  (or, in some cases said less)  I pray for God’s guidance to help me find the right words to say to others and when to say nothing at all.   

On Tuesday, I had my appointment with my oncologist.  Mostly good news.   My CA15 breast cancer tumor marker fell once again.  (to 25)  And, 0 – 25 is normal.  The CEA tumor marker also fell.  Some of my liver enzyme markers rose a bit but this could be a reaction to the chemotherapy treatment Xeloda.  The bit of unfortunate news is that I will be on the blood thinner injections indefinitely.  This does limit some options for any supplements or prescription medicines.  I do need to watch for signs of internal bleeding etc.  The new oncologist is very thorough and both Tim and I feel confident under his care.  He spoke to 8 hematologists and 3 of them are blood clot specialists and they all believe I need to stay on the blood thinner injections.  They did reduce my dose due to my weight reduction since the healing of the ascites.  The technical term is Budd-Chiari syndrome or hepatic veno—occlusive disease.  This is not a definitive diagnosis but one that continues to be probable at each appointment and MRI.  I know, I know too much information!!!!!

The immediate plan is that I start another round of chemo in one week.  (14 day duration) My oncologist is also quite on top of future potential treatments for me.  He is referring me for a clinical trial (Palbociclib)  I could get rejected for various reasons and he would then apply for it on a compassionate basis.  (it is an extremely expensive drug)  He would like to improve my quality of life and one of the possible treatments is this new clinical trial drug combined with an aromatase inhibitor .  However, the clinical trial drug brings down your white blood cell count which I am already  currently struggling with.  They do have options with massaging the dosage and timing of treatments to help with this.  I am still struggling with hand/foot syndrome, fatigue and inability to sleep much. 

I am getting physically, emotionally and spiritually stronger.  Cycling on the stationary bike, light weights and stretching.  I am continuing to do what was designed to be a 90 day Bible read.  (hopeful goal is 120 days)  I have started to see an acupuncturist this week and feeling very positive that she will be able to help with some of my issues.  Likely, will have to go for a few months to determine if it is helpful. 

My MRI is coming up on December 7^th and faithfully believing that all will be ok.  Moments like Tuesday make me feel so grateful , so incredibly thankful.  I do not take my current stable health for granted.  I know too well the unpredictability of life.   

Months ago, I could only plan my life until the next drain day.  Now, I am thinking of my life in very different terms.  When I am feeling well, it ranges from one oncologist appointment to the next or even thinking many months ahead and planning short term goals and making future plans.  My physical and emotional health go hand in hand. 

I pray for those who are currently trying to find healing for their health issues.  We all have storms that we have been in or are coming.  To have the peace, joy and assurance that Jesus is walking beside me through my struggles is beyond describable. 

Romans 12:12 –

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer”

Blessings,

Bev

 October 28^th Update

I have again been blessed with more healing.  The drain removal took a couple of weeks to heal from but fortunately that is behind me.  I finished another round of chemo on October 17^th and saw the oncologist on October 25^th.  I have switched oncologists and I am comfortable with my decision.  He is doing a referral to a clot specialist to see if I should be continuing to do the daily blood thinner injections.  Passed the platelet count test and neutrophil blood test.  I will be starting another round of chemo next week.  Both my tumor markers decreased again.  I was described by the new oncologist as an atypical patient in both a negative and positive way.  The side affects that I have been having from the xeloda have been worse that the average patient and my response to the treatment has been above average. 

My previous oncologist and new oncologist have been communicating and their recommendations in my treatment plan are a bit different.  My previous oncologist thinks that I have likely received most of the benefits that I can from my treatment and suggested to switch me to an aromatase inhibitor.  The new oncologist believes that we can kick the cancer’s butt a bit more and is comfortable with further chemo.  My tumor markers continue to decrease at a consistent steady rate so I am going to do another round.  I think the previous oncologist is concerned about my platelets and would like to see them recover. 

I really was emotionally overwhelmed with the potential of going on an aromatase inhibitor.  I thought this was a fantasy plan.  Apparantly, this could be a very realistic plan for me in the future.  I feel blessed beyond my own comprehension.  I am very fortunate that I seem to have chosen a drug that my particular cancer seems to really respond to.  Not all women respond to a particular drug.  It is a reality that I could have chosen one and not had a response to it.  I am beyond pleased but also very shaken up.  You just never know what is ahead and if or how long your body will respond to a drug.  Many patients in my condition have seen a progression and I have been seeing a regression. 

I am faithfully believing that my body will continue to respond to treatment and continued healing will happen.  Thank you God for the ongoing healing that you have brought to my body. 

Thank you all for your continued prayers. 

Hugs,

Bev

September 29^th Update

I had my blood retested yesterday and the platelets are still too low for chemo.  So, I need to wait another week and get it retested before I do another round of chemo.  The abdominal drain was successfully removed this morning.  It is going to be freedom not having a tail hanging out of me.  I am feeling well.  We went for an 1 ½ hour bike ride yesterday.  Feet are still winy brats and that just is the way it is.  The peeling has really decreased and I can momentarily walk barefoot.  Dry eyes seem to want to stay permanently and eye drops are my BFF.  I never leave home without them. 

Feeling at peace and feeling patient.  I just need some more time for my body to do some more healing and get the cancer more controlled.  I know there is no cure for stage 4 at this time in the world but pray one day there will be.  I pray that mine can be controlled with various types of drugs for many years and also be able to have a good quality of life. 

God is beside me every step.  He is giving me direction in the paths that he wants me to take. Most times when I go in for a procedure I come across someone with an amazing story who also has a strong faith and they choose to tell me their story without me asking anything.  When I had my last MRI, the nurse who gave me an IV had been in a wheelchair for years due to meningitis.   Today, my nurse’s daughter had leukemia when she was 8 years old and was on chemo for 2 years.  Now, she is doing well and is in nursing.  Love hearing stories of healing. 

Feeling confident that I will be able to do another round of chemo next week.  Enjoying every day! 

Much Love,

Bev

Healing Is Happening

The oncology nurse just left me a voice mail with good blood work results.  I was trying my best to be patient since Tuesday but concentration was honestly getting difficult.  I was fighting with my brain to only let the good positive productive healing thoughts in.  I could still need improve in this area. 

I don’t have all of the numbers as I did not get to speak to her directly.  I am so grateful that she gave me the most critical information.  The breast cancer tumor marker (CA 15-3) decreased by 28% since August 22^nd.  And, the general tumor marker (CEA) decreased by about 9%.  There has not been much change in my liver enzyme numbers.  (she did not leave me these numbers) Since my CA 15-3 has decreased from 449 in April to the current 47; I am believing that means 90% of the cancer is gone.  (0-25 is normal)   The medical field only thinks of this as part of the scenario as the MRI and stability amongst other things are factors.  But, in my brain, heart and soul; I am choosing to believe this.

Thank you God for bringing  healing to my body.   Thank you God for staying right beside me. 

Thank you all for your friendship, love, and prayers.   Tim and I are both filled with Joy and Hope and Gratitude.  I am pretty emotional today and even writing this is bringing me to tears.  Tim and I are going out for a celebratory bike ride.  Hope he is able to keep up. 

Love,

Bev

September 21^st Blog – Believing While Not Understanding

I apologize for not blogging sooner.  I really have not had much to report.  I had an MRI on Friday evening and received the results yesterday.    Not much has changed in the imaging since my last MRI in June.  There are no signs that the cancer is worsening so that is good news.  So at this time I need to and should be grateful for stable/no progression in the disease.  The MRI noted a huge decrease in the ascites which we all pretty much knew from the looks of me.  I have had a physical transformation since my last MRI.  My abdomen is pretty much back to normal (about a 7 inch decrease since June)  Liver is still abnormally shaped, spleen is slightly enlarged and lots of scar tissue.   This may stay the same, get worse or get better over time.  I did not get an opportunity to read the MRI until I got home and I really understand very little of it.  This is another stresser having to learn medical knowledge while healing.  I know we have to rely on opinions of others but it is not something that comes easily to me when I have no understanding of what has or is going on.   Oncologist and nurse seemed happy with my results but I don’t understand much of this right now.  Clearly, I have much work to do on my accepting of not understanding. My platelets and neutrophils are both too low to do another round of chemo.  So, I will be getting my blood retested in a week.  I am still waiting for the rest of the blood work results (liver enzymes and tumor markers).  I need to continue to do the daily blood thinner injections.  Since the ascites has healed so well and the fluid accumulation is minimal; I will be getting the drain removed from my abdomen.   Believing that the treatment is working, healing is happening, has happened and will continue to happen.  Relying on my faith in God every second.   

God has blessed me by walking this path with me and surrounding me with so many people that instantly make themselves available for prayer.  (on our way to the MRI, I felt a sudden need, urge and desire for prayers)  Thank you to so many of you who sent me encouraging messages and prayer.  The nurse at St. B was able to hook me up to the IV first try.  This is typically a big deal for my veins and sometimes takes up to an hour.  I felt a sense of peace and calmness that I don’t know how to describe throughout the procedure that took about 30 minutes. 

As some of you know, I have been in this mode of clearing things out of my house.  I believe this can make me annoying to be around but I am continuing on.  I have a goal to make my daughter’s old bedroom a room just for me.  A place where I can read, pray, do crafts; etc.  My place of solitiude.  I am very over the top excited about this.   I am like a kid that is getting their own room for the first time. 

During the last few days I have had a couple of really cool things happen.  As I was going through my precious junk, I found a card that my parents who are both now in heaven gave me in 1991 when I was going through a divorce.  Yes, I do have hoarder tendencies but no I do not have every card that was given to me since 1991. 

Yesterday, I was dropping a car load of things off at Salvation Army and I spotted a plaque that had one of my favourite scriptures on it.  Philippians – I can do all things through Christ who Strengthen me.  Of course, I had to buy it.  Today at church again the scripture was part of the sermon.  I am convinced there is a strong message that has been sent my way.   

My heart is very open these days.    I pray to God and give thanks for all of the blessings and I  ask for specific things for others and myself in prayer.  I believe in prayer. 

I am more excited than ever about my prayer life and look forward to it.  Thank you all for the prayers! 

Love, Bev

September 2, 2016 Update

September 2, 2016 Update

Well, I made it a full week without a medical appointment.  Got a bladder infection last week and just finished up my antibiotics.  My immune system is so fragile these days.  Issue of the week is eczema and burning/dry eyes.  The feet issue is healing a bit but is always there.  The walking on burning sand feeling is ongoing.  Energy is good.  We have been able to go for some good bike rides.  Got up at 8:30 this morning which is the earliest in months.  I believe my body is experiencing ongoing healing.  Thank you God!  

August 23rd Medical Update

August 23^rd Medical Update

Got a call from Oncologist’s office this morning that it is ok to resume treatment.  Platelets increased.  Tumor markers decreased even with being off of treatment. (last treatment finished on July 25^th)  Tumor marker CA15 (breast cancer) has decreased from 449 when treatment began in April to 65 yesterday.   (0– 25 is normal)  The other tumor marker CEA has decreased from 271 in April to 68.  (0-5 is normal) Seems like the cancer cells in my body are very vulnerable to this drug.  (these work differently for everyone)  Treatments are both an art and a science.  My liver enzymes have also seen improvement. 

Hoping for clear signs of improvement in my liver and the cancer on my September 16^th MRI.

Thank you God.  Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and love.   

This is the first line of my test blog.  April 9, 2016