September 21st Blog – Believing While Not Understanding
I apologize for not blogging sooner. I really have not had much to report. I had an MRI on Friday evening and received
the results yesterday. Not
much has changed in the imaging since my last MRI in June. There are no signs that the cancer is worsening
so that is good news. So at this time I
need to and should be grateful for stable/no progression in the disease. The MRI noted a huge decrease in the ascites
which we all pretty much knew from the looks of me. I have had a physical transformation since my
last MRI. My abdomen is pretty much back
to normal (about a 7 inch decrease since June) Liver is still abnormally shaped, spleen is
slightly enlarged and lots of scar tissue.
This may stay the same, get worse
or get better over time. I did not get
an opportunity to read the MRI until I got home and I really understand very
little of it. This is another stresser
having to learn medical knowledge while healing. I know we have to rely on opinions of others but
it is not something that comes easily to me when I have no understanding of
what has or is going on. Oncologist and
nurse seemed happy with my results but I don’t understand much of this right
now. Clearly, I have much work to do on
my accepting of not understanding. My platelets and neutrophils are both too
low to do another round of chemo. So, I
will be getting my blood retested in a week.
I am still waiting for the rest of the blood work results (liver enzymes
and tumor markers). I need to continue
to do the daily blood thinner injections.
Since the ascites has healed so well and the fluid accumulation is
minimal; I will be getting the drain removed from my abdomen. Believing
that the treatment is working, healing is happening, has happened and will
continue to happen. Relying on my faith
in God every second.
God has blessed me by walking this path with me and
surrounding me with so many people that instantly make themselves available for
prayer. (on our way to the MRI, I felt a
sudden need, urge and desire for prayers)
Thank you to so many of you who sent me encouraging messages and
prayer. The nurse at St. B was able to
hook me up to the IV first try. This is
typically a big deal for my veins and sometimes takes up to an hour. I felt a sense of peace and calmness that I
don’t know how to describe throughout the procedure that took about 30
minutes.
As some of you know, I have been in this mode of clearing
things out of my house. I believe this
can make me annoying to be around but I am continuing on. I have a goal to make my daughter’s old
bedroom a room just for me. A place
where I can read, pray, do crafts; etc.
My place of solitiude. I am very
over the top excited about this. I am
like a kid that is getting their own room for the first time.
During the last few days I have had a couple of really cool
things happen. As I was going through my
precious junk, I found a card that my parents who are both now in heaven gave
me in 1991 when I was going through a divorce.
Yes, I do have hoarder tendencies but no I do not have every card that
was given to me since 1991.
Yesterday, I was dropping a car load of things off at
Salvation Army and I spotted a plaque that had one of my favourite scriptures
on it. Philippians – I can do all things
through Christ who Strengthen me. Of
course, I had to buy it. Today at church
again the scripture was part of the sermon.
I am convinced there is a strong message that has been sent my way.
My heart is very open these days. I
pray to God and give thanks for all of the blessings and I ask for specific things for others and myself
in prayer. I believe in prayer.
I am more excited than ever about my prayer life and look
forward to it. Thank you all for the
prayers!
Love, Bev
