August 23, 2017 Blog

There have just been so many changes and life events since I last blogged.  I have had so many miraculous happenings, challenges, life altering events and have had to really trust that God has a plan for me on a daily basis. 

Medically, it still ‘seems’ that the cancer is being controlled.  Like I said, you truly have to have faith, live in the moment and try your very best to live in gratitude.  Some days are definitely more challenging than others. 

On July 11th, my tumor markers rose for the first time since I started treatment.  I really felt like I was kicked in the stomach.  My oncologist wasn’t too worried as I had an MRI on July 4^th that showed stability in the disease.  But, still he admitted he would rather have not had this happen but the tumor markers are only one indicator.  Also, we changed my treatment drug which could have contributed to the rise.   So, then of course we question if this treatment was the right decision.  Sorry if I am not telling this in the right order but I have a headache right now and really just wanted to try and write this today.  He also told us that he was leaving Cancercare to move onto other career opportunities which devastated me.  (meltdown)  I am extremely grateful for everything that this oncologist has done for me.  He was an answer to our prayers.  He also ordered an endoscopy which I had done last week which they had to do banding on.  Will be seeing the gastrointestinal specialist next week.  (I had to have the endoscopy due to the damage that the ascites did to my body last summer and caused varices in my intestines.  Will know more next week but wasn’t too happy when I read on the exit brochure the hospital gave me that further endoscopies will be recommended. 

Many times I have been told that healing won’t be happening.  God is still the head of the healing in life I have to always tell myself.  Sometimes, we don’t understand the timelines or the ways but it will always be for our good. 

On August 15^th, we had our first meeting with the new oncologist .  Blood work is off and neutrophils and RBC are too low to resume treatment at this point.  I had my blood retested yesterday (August 22^nd) and again too low.  Hope to start  back on in a week as long as I pass the  blood test.  This does explain my extreme fatigue, shortness of breath and restless leg syndrome etc.....

I need to be patient with my body and do the best that I can.  I tire easily right now which is a hard thing to accept as I was working so hard at getting back into shape.  I was running 3 miles in July.  Then my blood got hit hard and I hit the wall!  Better than the concrete which I admittingly have had the misfortune of in the past. 

So, I am believing that God has a plan for me and feeling God’s presence around me always.   When I really feel like I have not had a stellar day,  I stop and think of or write down three things that I am grateful for.  Even on my least stellar days, I find this an easy task!  I feel that I am so blessed.  I really do this and it really works!  But, I do ask God for specific prayer requests as well. 

AND.....TODAY I AM GRATEFUL FOR

My daughter Justine.  Today is her 26^th birthday.  She has rocked my world and opened my heart and my world.  Love her to the moon and back. 

For the health care that I receive both standard and complementary. 

For Jesus

I ‘think’ that mostly everyone knows about the birth of our grand daughter Anne.  She was born on July 2^nd.   Her middle name is Hazel after her grandma Hazie - my daughters second mom.  I have been very happy to be able to spend lots of time hugging and cuddling her.  The meaning of her name is Favour or Grace.  Prayer.  God has favoured me.  Everyone said that being a grandparent would be the best thing ever and I thought it would be too.  But, like so many things you don’t truly know until you experience it.  And, then the love; will be so strong that it is indescribable.  It is such a beautiful thing to experience my daughter Raschelle and her husband Pat fall completely out of the park in love with her.  Anne has everyone smitten.  A baby brings so much love to the world.  A baby is one of God greatest miracles.  Thank you God for Anne! 

Blessings and Prayers

Bev